In the Beginning

The first pregnancy was intentional, but a bit of a surprise. One morning B woke up with sharp pain in her stomach, the pain subsided after a few minutes, gas we thought. Around noon the next day she called me at work (which is rare) and said she had consistent sharp stabbing pains in her side to the point breathing was difficult and pain in her shoulder…to urgent care she went. As the urgent care staff attempted to determine what was causing the pain, they had her do a pregnancy test, which came back positive. The doctor was very concerned about the pain and instructed her to go to the local emergency room.

She made a follow-up call to me and I was on my way to meet her at the ER. In the ER the nurse took some blood and informed us the doctor would be completing an ultrasound while we waited for the blood tests to be completed. After waiting about ten minutes or so, which from my ER experience was lightspeed, there was a knock on the door and in walked her regular OB. He explained he believed she had an ectopic pregnancy and the ultrasound and blood work would confirm this. We asked what the options were and he said, “With the radiating pain to your shoulder, I have the feeling the only option is going to be laparoscopic surgery. I think the pregnancy has ruptured and you probably have some internal bleeding going on.” Internal bleeding?? My heart started pounding and I could feel anxiety spreading throughout my body. What the hell is going on here?

He completed the ultrasound and didn’t even wait for the bloodwork to come back because he could not find the pregnancy, but did find a decent amount of blood in her abdomen. “We are going to have to get you prepped for surgery, when was the last time you ate?” Luckily it had been around eight hours, so they felt comfortable proceeding. While she was in surgery I made calls to various family members, which I must say was not fun. Hey Mom 1 & 2, we are pregnant, but not really…I could picture my mother’s initial reaction turn to despair. Then I hung out in the waiting room by myself…

The doctor eventually came in, I am not sure how long everything took, and said the procedure went well. The pregnancy was in an ovary, but he was able to remove the mass without removing any “parts.” For a crappy situation, this was at least the most positive outcome possible.

I was upset she had to go through the pain and the procedure, but I did not find myself upset about the loss of the pregnancy. I think this is due to the fact we only knew she was pregnant for an hour or so before we knew about the proceeding outcome. I had no idea how she was going to react. I was concerned that I was not going to be able to support her the way she needed to be supported. I am not a very emotional person and I know we have different coping mechanisms. I typically prefer to be left alone, she needs different things at different times. So I asked and I did what she needed. At times this was not easy for me and I definitely had to step outside my comfort zone, but with a situation like this I did what I had to do.

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