Yes, Tom, the Waiting is the Hardest Part

The next two weeks were miserable, neither of us had any idea what to do. I wanted to be cautiously optimistic, especially to provide support to B, but thinking positively is not my forte. I am definitely more of a realist or pragmatist, as I mentioned previously I looked for data and information in an attempt to understand what was going on, but this made me realize how complicated pregnancy is. I was not only unable to find answers, but the information I did find was contradictory. I did not share with her much of the information I read about, since the info did not come to any beneficial conclusions.

Using the Kubler-Ross model of coping, B seemed to waver between anger and depression (not clinical depression but sadness). Numerous times she expressed not understanding how women who either did not want children or seriously mistreat (abuse/neglect) their children are able to have children but she could not. I am sure she had this thought for various reasons, but during the most recent OB visit while we were scheduling the next visit there were two women waiting who were discussing how social services had removed their children. How do you respond to this reaction? I told her it was perfectly fine to be angry and reiterated countless times what she was going through flat out sucks.

The only early pregnancy symptoms she previously had were sore breasts and a heightened sense of smell, these symptoms did not change. Nothing really changed, we just waited…

I bought a container of baby food as a good luck charm, with the idea it would be the first food (at least jar food) I would feed my child. Otherwise, I went about my daily routine and attempted not to think about things while at work, because I thought there was a good chance B would want to talk about things at night. This worked for me and in reality B did not really talk too much about things. We just waited.


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