We arrived for the appointment and went back to the ultrasound room, hoping B would have the tech we had during the first appointment…no luck. The tech she had during the last visit walked into the room. She asked B if she was having any negative symptoms, which B denied, and then asked her to remove all clothes from the waist down. As B was getting undressed she glanced up at me and said, “damn.”
The tech walked back in and started the ultrasound. Again, I sat on the rolling stool and stared at the screen. Silently repeating to myself, “please be ok, please be ok, please be ok…” I watched the screen and spotted the black spot, this time empty and misshaped, from my research I knew what this meant. It felt like all my blood drained from my head to my feet, I did not feel like I was going to pass out, just felt empty. I wanted to run over and hold B’s hand, but I sat there and stared.
B asked, “How does it look.”
The tech said, “I can’t really say, the doctor will have to read and talk to you.” Then she went on to basically say the pregnancy was not viable.
B began to tear up, “Ok, ok. I will wait to talk to the doctor.” She did not feel comfortable with this tech and just did not want to hear her speak.
The tech took some measurements and printed out a bunch of pictures and finished. B dressed and I held her. I said, “I’m so sorry,” and just held her in my arms. B cried and did not say anything.
We had to go sit in the waiting room. I am not sure why they could not bring us back to the doctor’s room immediately, this seems like it would be a patient centered policy. We waited for a few minutes in silence and were called back. The doctor came in quickly.
“Hi guys, I am sorry about these results. This is definitely an anembryonic pregnancy.”
“What does that mean?”
“It is a genetic miscarriage. We don’t really know what causes them, it’s nothing you did. From what we know they are typically caused due to genetic malformations. The pregnancy was not genetically strong.”
He explained she would eventually pass the material naturally, probably within a week or so. There should not be significant pain, but the process would be uncomfortable and she would probably bleed double what she typically would with a normal period.